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Post by wirsindkrieg on Jun 1, 2021 22:08:50 GMT
Hey gamers, Mal here. Today I'm gonna be reviewing Having a Corporeal Form and Being Made of Meat. Before I start, I wanna say that this video isn't sponsored, so this is my honest opinion. I didn't pay for my Corporeal Form, though. I got it as a gift a while back, but since they're all the rage again, I figured I should give my review now. I do have a bit of an older model, though, so they might have changed some stuff in the new ones. YMMV.
So first off, let me just say that this thing is high maintenance. For real. You have to constantly be taking care of your Corporeal Form, or it just won't stop causing you problems. I've had ex-girlfriends that were less needy. [insert laugh track here] But seriously, you have to provide food every few hours, water basically all the time, and let's not go into having to clean up after it. You have to be paying attention to it constantly to keep up with what it needs.
Then there's all the little problems. Bad back, bad knees, bad brain... Basically, have a Corporeal Form means that if you aren't dealing with one thing, you're dealing with something else. And it doesn't take long for them to basically start falling apart. I've had mine for about 30 years now (I know, I'm like the Crypt Keeper), and already the knees are messed up, the back doesn't work right, and that's not getting into the issues in the head. Planned obsolescence is real.
On top of that, every day or so, it makes you fall unconscious for hours at a time, you vividly hallucinate the whole time, and then when you finally wake up you wind up forgetting whatever you hallucinated. It's a real pain, and while you can work to prevent it for a while, you can only manage a few days before your Corporeal Form will make sure it happens anyways. It's a drag.
It's also a major commitment, both in time and money. Once you have a Corporeal Form, you're stuck with it for the rest of your life. Seriously. And you're gonna be constantly throwing money at taking care of it. Food is expensive, proper shelter is expensive, healthcare is expensive... Personally, I think the whole thing is just one big scheme to milk us for as much money as the corporations can get from us, but it's not like anyone can give up having a Corporeal Form these days. It's like having a cell phone: an absolute necessity to get by.
So my final rating: 0/10, would not recommend. If you're considering Having a Corporeal Form and Being Made of Meat, look elsewhere for an incarnation experience. There's bound to be an option that's cheaper, lower maintenance, and doesn't fall apart in no time at all. I've heard Being a Plant is pretty nice, but I've never tried it, so I'm not gonna recommend it until I do.
That's all for today, gamers. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and hit that bell so you can get notifications whenever I post a new video. Until next time, stay safe Minecraftia.
[insert annoying outro music over end card here]
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Gideon
Adult
please ignore typos my chronic fatigue has taken my brain
Pronouns: it/they
Optional Field: [I edit my posts a lot just to fix formatting or word choices or typos]
Posts: 151
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Post by Gideon on Jun 2, 2021 0:31:48 GMT
dude my Vessel is Malfunctioning badly and no mechanic will fix it?? 0/10 I want a refund
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Post by Princess Entradora on Jun 2, 2021 13:39:31 GMT
As usual I'll be reviewing the current body I'm renting based on 5 different categories. Sound, sight, smell, feel and accuracy.
Sound - 3/10
This thing sounds terrible. The voice is the completely wrong pitch and accent, and is extremely difficult to train to be higher. I keep needing to clear it's throat constantly due to issues I'll talk more about later, but needless to say it's basically a "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M AMAB" button that needs to be pressed or else I won't be able to breathe. The armpits come with a humerous easter egg where if you cup it with your hand and press your arm against your body and move it back and forth, it makes fart noises. This bumps it up a point.
Sight - 5.5/10 The hair needs to be washed frequently or it becomes shiny, and not in a good way. After just one night, the hair must also be brushed because boy does it get tangled. The skin looks pale in some lights and weirdly dark in others, there's no consistency here! It's 6 foot, which is smaller than I'm used to, but compared to others who have the same species base, it's actually above average in the height factor. The eyes are dark and have dark rings around them which I can't find a way to get rid of. I've even called the manufacturor, apparently it's an unfixable bug. The smile is goofy and hair just springs up everywhere. When the hair and face are managed with proper procedures, they look great, and certain clothes can do wonders, which is why this category is higher than you'd think.
Smell - 1/10 Haven't showered today? Forgot to apply antipersperant? Might as well perish. Human bodies are notoriously bad for the stink-factor. There's really no excusing the poor design here. Wash EVERY DAY or you will be stimky.
Feel - 2/10 It's no secret that this particular body base is notoriously buggy and very easy to break. Whether it's the myriad diseases it can catch, the fragility of the inside AND the outside, or maybe it just doesn't like you that day, you can rest assured you will encounter some serious issues sooner or later, it's garunteed. You need to put in the work for it to carry you anywhere noteworthy - your breath meter is miniscule, your endurance stat takes ludicrously long to level up and sometimes, you can just fall apart. This particular one has blood pressure issues and circulatory problems that make taking it anywhere an absolute chore. Standing still for too long brings it close to collapse, and sometimes the hands will just get extremely hot for NO REASON. The tastebuds are good, able to withstand considerable sourness and spice, as well as very bitter things. Pain tolerance is moderate. Overall though, a really bad design all round.
Accuracy - 0/10 No prehensile hair, biological and organic, too short, too large, completely the wrong voice sound and accent, and don't get me started on the additional body parts that add nothing good. Overall not even close.
Overall: 2.3/10 My experience with this particular body has been almost completely negative. I would advise not to get anything similar.
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f1shcake
Member
Pronouns: Xe/Xem/Xyr
Posts: 23
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Post by f1shcake on Jun 3, 2021 14:33:53 GMT
Causes itchiness 0/10
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Aster
Adult
Stinky
Pronouns: He/Him
Optional Field: I tend to ramble and make long posts!
Posts: 42
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Post by Aster on Jun 4, 2021 23:31:59 GMT
Yeah I ordered a "Male" version and they sent me the wrong product and they don't do refunds  0/10 |
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Gideon
Adult
please ignore typos my chronic fatigue has taken my brain
Pronouns: it/they
Optional Field: [I edit my posts a lot just to fix formatting or word choices or typos]
Posts: 151
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Post by Gideon on Dec 11, 2021 17:38:55 GMT
dude my Vessel is Malfunctioning badly and no mechanic will fix it?? 0/10 I want a refund update I found a mechanic. would greatly prefer to trade in my Incorrect Model and Production Defect Caused Malfunctioning Vessel for a Demidrakn Model Vessel that is fully operational! In the meantime the repairs are taking way too long. (I'll spoil this later if I remember but "product defect" =/= birth defect. skull plate fused incorrectly as a baby) |
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Post by percevale on Dec 17, 2021 15:32:31 GMT
Negatives: The smell's already been mentioned. Also, the teeth get gunky and the skin is kind of prone to oiliness.
Mine came in a size that was considerably too small and squishy, and also not male. They sell expansion packs to fix some of those things, but it usually takes a lot of time and money. Very pay-to-play. Also, the temperature regulation doesn't seem to work quite right, which might be an issue only on this model. Apparently it's actually somewhat worse on most other animal form options.
Positives:
Corporeal Forms are very customizable, especially the human variant. My hair is the on-model color right now, but you can change the length and color pretty easily. Most permanent cosmetic alterations sadly cost quite a bit, though.
Overall my model has been pretty sturdy, good at walking long distances. Not very fast, but reasonably tanky. More practice is also supposed to increase the physical capacity.
Other Notes: Not sure if this body needs much more attention than most other animal models, though the hygiene is harder to deal with. I would suggest a lot of thought about whether you want to get one, since they definitely are a commitment and it sems like they usually don't come as ordered and have a lot of production problems. Personally, I don't find them bad aesthetically, though mine has a few issues that need to be worked out.
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Kara
Adult
3 dogs in a trench coat
Pronouns: they/them, fawn/fawns
Posts: 153
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Post by Kara on Dec 18, 2021 6:52:50 GMT
I'd give it a solid 4/10. The "sense of touch" mechanic is a unique experience you wouldn't find elsewhere. There are some things that really make it seem worthwhile, like food and this really cool concept called "friends"! But overall, it's clunky and hard to move, you never really get used to it. It breaks easily and is not so easily repaired. There has to be a better alternative form than corporeal out there, but I guess they've totally monopolized the market. What a shame. Wouldn't recommend.
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Post by feralsol on Jul 12, 2022 21:38:34 GMT
I ordered a form with amber eyes but they sent me brown instead, and the only ways to change it are to wear contacts (but I have to take them out at some point), get potentally blinding eye surgery, or killing my vessel and getting a new one. Plus it has a slow metabolism, and no matter what I eat or how much I exercise, cannot burn any fat.
0/10 should've just waited for the punk to reset instead of getting a new body. Or just went with one of the animal variants, those are at least stronger and cooler than the human ones.
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petrichoran
Adult
occasionally callous and strange
Pronouns: they/she + ae/aer + ey/em
Optional Field: The Magician
Posts: 11
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Post by petrichoran on Sept 15, 2022 23:43:49 GMT
i ended up with the mystery package - definitely not a choice i would recommend. my model came with an error that i only realized years into its use, and they won't replace or repair it. i wish i had the sense to order a form with red hair, but i didn't, and i got one of the darkest colors that is most costly to change. it's sad how you need a physical form to have contact with other entities. i think we should boycott the system.
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digi
Adult
chewing socks
Pronouns: wer/wol/weres/wereself
Posts: 25
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Post by digi on Sept 18, 2022 12:14:36 GMT
Bought my form under the impression it wasn't permanent and not only did they send me an extremely untested version that initially looked like the model I specifically didn't order, it's not capable of a single additional form. In its defense, I managed to crack the social programming center of the cortex and now it's infinitely more customisable. If I'd known that all it took was a little tinkering I'd just have pirated in the first place! They are DEFINITELY not worth the retail cost, that's for sure. Overall 7/10 experience but was a definite 3/10 before I cracked the cortex and got more control of the form.
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breeoche
Adult
do androids dream of homestuck?
Pronouns: collective it/its - check system bio for more
Posts: 44
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Post by breeoche on Oct 12, 2022 0:10:52 GMT
so i got a standard human model and i will say, this product is lacking. at first it was great! but they said it would have an about ~50 years of perfect usage and mine started malfunctioning only 12 years until i got it, it's still a pretty long time but compared to what i was told... frankly i would call that false advertising.
not to mention, this thing is very limited in its customization options. sure, you can change the color of the hair and add tattoos and stuff, but thats as much as youre gonna get. i wanted to make mine taller and was told it couldnt be done! one would think height would be an OBVIOUS customizable thing, and one would (apparently) be wrong. i had slightly better luck when i realized the female variant wasnt for me, but it still takes a very long time for the modifications to get done and in the meanwhile im still stuck with a model i dont particularly like.
all around, pretty disappointed. i will be giving this model points for being warm and cuddly as well as having huge tits (even if i intend on getting them removed, they are pretty fun) so my final note will be a 4/10. not good!
i think ill look into trading mine for a standard robotic model in the coming years, and hopefully get a refund in the process.
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Post by hikkicara on Oct 12, 2022 19:27:20 GMT
I believe I *specifically* asked for a feline body, but apparently they were all out and their best substitute was a human?? I hate cosmic doordashers smh...
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Post by psyberserval on Sept 22, 2023 20:24:53 GMT
I happened to get very lucky. They gave me the correct hair and eye color, thankfully, but I still demand for them to give me ears and a tail! What a waste.
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71218
Member
Pronouns: he/him/it/its
Posts: 10
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Post by 71218 on Sept 24, 2023 0:31:50 GMT
This flesh suit sucks. The veins and arteries sticking through the skin makes me squeamish to even look at it. My eyes are crapping out. My feet hurt from running. The maintenance is insane and nobody knows how to maintain this flesh suit completely. The nutrient requirements are a pain in the USB port.
Where's the metallic body when you need it? Seriously.
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0/10
